The Mystery of The Last House in the Woods

Most of us know what to expect from low-budget horror movies, especially those that are released straight-to-DVD. Since Netflix makes the expense of renting these films practically negligible, I’ve been watching more than usual, lately, always hoping to find a hidden gem. Unfortunately, they’ve all pretty much busted. Lake Dead had nothing to do with a lake and everything to do with a disturbed family whose surname is “Lake.” Needless to say, I was incredibly disappointed by the lack of aquatic mayhem. Midnight Movie took a great concept (a horror movie killer comes out of the film to terrorize the audience) and completely screws it up. Midnight Meat Train is just stupid.
Being a horror fan, though, I can’t stop watching the genre. I read great things about the Italian film, The Last House in the Woods on AVClub.com, so it was with elevated expectations that I popped the DVD in. The experience was surprising. I can’t recall ever being so confused after a film viewing. Since I’m having trouble coming to terms with my thoughts, I thought I’d work them out here and hopefully someone will watch the film and join in the discussion.

Instantly noticeable is how horrible Last House looks. It’s shot on what has to be the worst HD camera available or the filmmakers have no idea how to use it. At least older crappy horror films look half decent because they were shot on film. Supporting the idea that the filmmakers are lacking in… skill… is that the lighting sucks. I’m not sure they even had lighting setups. A lot of times the film looks like it’s all (poorly) shot in natural light.

Our introduction to the main character (Aurora) has her boyfriend request the continue drawing while he has sex with her. She goes along with this and it’s the last we see of the boyfriend (and no, he doesn’t die, he has nothing to do with anything). Next, she gets into a car with an ex and has sex with him. Last House seems to be trying to buck the trend of the virtuous “survivor girl.” I say “seems” because at this point, I didn’t feel like the filmmakers had any idea what they were doing.
The rest of the cast is introduced shortly after the car sex; a group of Capital City Douchebags pulls up behind them to let a buddy puke. They see the former lovers and decide that the girl needs a good raping and the guy a good thrashing. The Douchebags (to be fair, one of the Douchebags isn’t on board for any of his buddies’ shenanigans) are foiled by a gun-toting passerby and his wife. The Douchebags are sent on their angry way and Aurora and her ex are taken to the titular last house in the woods.

OK, so that’s the setup. Last House is essential, as many have pointed out, a combination of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Last House on the Left. Nothing much original happens for a while. Most of the plot turns are pretty obvious. The first half of the film feels like the filmmakers were trying to make a serious horror film and failing miserably. I couldn’t tell if I was enjoying the awfulness or not. There are so many bizarre camera moves and zooms that it’s kind of cool and very discombobulating. My mind was reeling. But then something happened. The film became really entertaining and there were signs that the filmmakers weren’t so stupid after all.

The first clue for me was the capacity in which the Douchebags return to the action. The break into the house still feeling a bit rape-y, but quickly change their tunes when they encounter the grisliness within. These characters that the audience has been told to hate are now our only hope for salvation. While the execution is sketchy at best, the idea intrigues me greatly. This isn’t the classic anti-hero scenario where we know from the outset to root for the miscreant like in A Clockwork Orange. Essentially, Last House is asking us to root for the bad guys in The Last House on the Left (hopefully you won’t be confused by the similar titles).
The tone of the film becomes clearer at this point as well, with the wussiest of the Douchebags vomiting on a severed limb. To this point, the score had been unremarkable at best, but suddenly it came to the forefront for me. It was equal parts cheesy and amazing. Part of it is that I love the chord progression used (similar to the one at the end of Sunshine), but mostly it’s the combination of the action onscreen and the music underneath. It hit all the right notes (pun slightly intended) and I didn’t want it to end. I was actively involved in the film within two minutes of the break-in.

Last House plows ahead to a blood-soaked, endlessly enjoyable finish. And the basement houses one of cinema’s greatest surprises. I actually watched the entirety of the credits just to listen to the perplexingly great score. The film has stuck with me far longer than it should have. There are so many facets I need to discuss with the filmmakers. I’ve never had this many questions about a film’s intentions. Please, please, PLEASE see The Last House in the Woods. I need to discuss it and you won’t be disappointed.