Top 5 Bands I Should Like, But Don’t

I love lists. Making them is a wonderful way to spend idle time. What else are you going to do? Something? Nah. Hell, the Top Film from Each Year of My Life feature stems from me making a top 10 from each year of my life. So yeah, I love lists. This particular topic was brought up by my friend, Leslie. The results from my initial list I sent her have changed ever so slightly, but by-and-large (I don’t know what that really means), it’s the same list. I’d love to hear any bands that you think you should like, but don’t as well. So, in some particular order, here it goes…

5. The Hold Steady
Probably the most “obscure” band on the list, The Hold Steady try to pick up where Bruce Springsteen left off. Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone needed to pick up after the Boss, as he is still kicking some sort of ass (at least live). Critics really seem to dig this band, but all I hear is the incredibly obnoxious vocals of lead singer Craig Finn. If not for that, I could probably love them. Their Springsteen influence seems to stem from his early work, which is some of the greatest music ever recorded, and they even cite John Darnielle of The Mountain Goats as an influence. To top it off, even as their profile was rising, they played a very tiny bar in Harrisburg shortly before I moved to Boston. I have nothing but respect for that. But that’s as far as I can take my relationship with The Hold Steady (and you can all thank me for avoiding the obvious pun later).


4. Pearl Jam
Yet another vocal issue. Eddie Vedder simply sounds like a moron to me when he sings. I have a general lack of interest in grunge anyway, so this spot could be filled with Nirvana or Soundgarden just as easily. Vedder almost won me over with his music for Into the Wild, but I still felt something pushing me away. What makes it particularly tough for me to reject Pearl Jam is that they worked closely with one of my favorite artists, Neil Young. I have Mirrorball and like it and Neil Young isn’t allowed to have bad taste in music. He’s Neil fucking Young! But no. It’s not to be. I’ll just have to take consolation in the fact that Eddie Vedder is the subject of a mediocre “Weird Al” song, “My Baby’s in Love with Eddie Vedder.” It’s as close as I can get to liking Pearl Jam.


3. Elvis
I used to be a HUGE oldies fan. I knew the lyrics to nearly everything that played on the oldies station. I’d call in requests and play the games it ran at night (voting for which song of two they would play at the end of the show). But there has never been a moment in my life that I enjoyed listening to Elvis. I don’t know if his sad, bloated, sequined image tainted my view of him. Or maybe it’s the plethora of horrible films (OK, horrible looking. I don’t think I could sit through one of them). Or, I really don’t like his music (I definitely know I don’t care for the gospel and country crap he recorded). He and Jerry Lee Lewis were two of the most arresting, kinetic performers of their era and practically changed the way many artists acted on stage. While I love the latter, Elvis always left me cold (perhaps because I'm not a swooning female). However, what makes his life worthwhile for me is that it led to the existence of Bubba Ho-Tep and Bruce Campbell’s second most iconic role as the King himself. Hail to the King, baby.


2. Bjork
I am a big fan of the Icelandic music scene. I’ve seen the documentary, Screaming Masterpiece, twice in theaters and really like Mum and LOVE Mugison and Sigur Ros. For some bizarre reason, I never connected with Bjork. I say bizarre because I think her voice is absolutely phenomenal. I can only dream of having a voice that powerful. It’s not even that I think her music is bad. It just seems to be overly esoteric. Bjork’s music is so hard for me to penetrate. I haven’t listened to much of the Sugarcubes, and early Bjork band, but what I’ve heard I like, so I know there is something about her I like. This realization only makes it more baffling as to why I can’t make the transition to her solo stuff. I do like the song “All Is Full of Love,” but I like it better when Deathcab for Cutie sings it.


1. Tool
I really wish I liked Tool. I respect so much about them that I almost feel uncomfortable not liking them. They played Bonnaroo a few years ago when I was there and we skipped out on their show, which I later learned was all kinds of awesome. I can’t disagree with the people saying that (mostly because I wasn’t there), but I know that ultimately the spectacle would only go so far for me before I got tired of the music. But there is still the niggling feeling that I missed something great and worst-case scenario is I don’t like it and walk away to do something else at the festival. The worst part of all about not liking Tool is that I can’t really express what it is that I don’t like about them. The only thing I can think of is that once summer, the song “Schism” (I’m 90% sure) was played on the radio A LOT and I was sick of hearing it. Other than that, no good reason for not liking, which may also indicate the possibility of liking in the future. Who knows? Maybe I’m ready.