The Horror Creep

October is almost here and already my queue is filling up with horror movies. Once October arrives, there will be no respite, much to my girlfriend's dismay.

Mount up!

The Naked City -- Jules Dassin
I hold in my mind an image of Criterion of infallibility. That their taste in movies is impeccable and everything they put out is worth my time. I know that this isn't the case, but they do such good work that it's hard not to think that. I'm sure that there are people who like The Naked City. They like the fact that the producer, Mark Hellinger, narrates the whole thing in the most annoying way possible, negating the whole "show, don't tell" model of filmmaking (he died shortly after a preview screening, so I choose to believe Dassin didn't want to disrespect the man by removing the voiceover). I found it to be incredibly off-putting and took me right out of the film. Who cares about the murder? This bastard keeps talking in my ear! Fortunately, I know Dassin has made some awesome movies (Rififi, Night and the City), so I won't stay away from his films. I'd just never recommend this one (though the ending is a pretty sweet set piece on the Brooklyn Bridge).

Dagon -- Stuart Gordon
Stuart Gordon has dipped into the H.P. Lovecraft well numerous times (Re-Animator, From Beyond, Dreams in the Witch House from the TV series "Masters of Horror"). I'm not the biggest fan of Re-Animator, though I know many who love it. From Beyond rules and Dreams in the Witch House was good for the standards of MoH. Dagon had the potential to be something great. Despite itself, there's a lot of cool stuff going on with people turning into sea-beings. Clearly, budget held Gordon back. But even more than that, casting is the biggest issue. You can almost hear Gordon crying out for Jeffrey Combs to de-age 20 years and star in this. There's a low-rent actor trying to emulate Combs, but failing miserably. The other glaring problem is that Dagon isn't directed with much style. I don't know what happened to Gordon since the '80s (I'd imagine working on low-budget genre movies with little more than cult success can get one down), but there's no energy on screen. Much like House, give this movie to Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson, or Guillermo del Toro and it can come alive. I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't terrible, but disappointed it wasn't better.

I'm pretty sure at 4:40 he's channeling Stephen King.

Wordplay -- Patrick Creadon
This is probably the best of the "documentaries about games/hobbies" movies I've seen. I'm in awe of how fast these people can do incredibly hard puzzles and can't even attempt the Monday NY Times Crossword without thinking about how bad I'm doing compared to these people. Not only are the people competing mind-blowing, but it walks you through the making of a puzzle. I can't even imagine being that smart or clever. The only knock I have against the movie is that the 20-year old contestant reminds me of Michael Rapaport and that's never a good thing.

Charley Varrick -- Don Siegel
Walter Matthau is the man. I don't know why we don't have any actors like him or Ernest Borgnine or Warren Oates anymore. Versatile actors who aren't necessarily pretty, but can own the screen. Paul Giamatti is good, but I can't see him as a badass. Charley Varrick is a crop duster/bank robber who accidentally steals money from a bank storing mob money and the mob wants it. Joe Don Baker is amazing as the man sent to look for the money. The man has no ethics and is a thrill to watch. It's a bit of a cat-and-mouse situation, but I get a kick out of watching Varrick act so logical about everything, even when it's difficult. This is a great movie you may not have heard of but it's available on Instant View. And just like in Dirty Harry, Andrew Robinson is terrible in this movie, too.

The Swarm -- Irwin Allen
Kablooey!

House II -- Ethan Wiley
The Horror Show (House III) -- James Isaac
Boing!

Dracula A.D. 1972 -- Alan Gibson
Like most Hammer Horror films, I'm happy this exists. I love the set design and the vibe of the whole thing. I love the artwork that goes along with it. I love how much cleavage the studio brought into the world. But in the end, the movies are just OK. Not enough was done to show Dracula in 1972. Most of the time, he's still in an old castle or church in the country, so it doesn't feel like modern day. If more had been done to bring Dracula into this culture, I think the film could have been a lot better. Still, I enjoy spending my time with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing, so I can never be too hard on these films.