Is God Divorced?

You know how churches like to put "cute" (I can't keep that word out of quotes today) sayings on their little word boxes (I don't feel right calling it a marquee) in their front yard? I saw one while on a bike ride today that struck me as particularly odd. It read:

"God wants full custody, not just weekend visits."

The point is obvious. Sundays shouldn't be your only day of worship, yada yada yada. But, as usual, I've been over-thinking this metaphor. So here we go,

First of all, this quote implies that God is divorced. Some infallible, omniscient being, huh?

Not only is he divorced, he doesn't have (or is struggling to get) full custody.

And if we continue the God just wanting his kids back, we have to consider that God has doled out his share of abuse and may not deserve full custody of his children.

I can already here the more devout amongst you muttering that it's all part of God's plan and that he loves us all and he has a reason for meting out tragedy seemingly at random. But doesn't that sound just a little like the father defending himself? "I'm doing this because I love you." "I know what's best." "This hurts me more than it hurts you." "It builds character."

In the context of the metaphor this particular church supplied, it seems to me that God is lucky that he has weekend visits. Perhaps the church needs to rethink this particular message.