You may remember that not long ago, I sang the praises of Hatchet, an amazing horror-comedy from Adam Green. One of the reasons I posted that article was because I noticed the sequel was available on Netflix. Excitement flooded my veins. One of my favorite horror movies of the past ten years (maybe twenty) and the sequel started right where the last one ended (which if you've seen Hatchet, you has an intense and abrupt ending). I was especially excited that Green was returning to this Louisiana swamp because his two films between are uneven at best.
Oh my. I've never felt such disappointment. Apparently, Green felt the best way to make a sequel was to remove everything that made the original so great (likable characters, realistic dialogue, humor, and yes, over-the-top violence/gore) and to focus on the easiest of these to replicate: gore. It doesn't help that Hatchet II follows easily the most uninteresting character from the first film, MaryBeth. But in the first film, she doesn't need to be interesting. She has an amazing cast around her, plus Joel David Moore bouncing off her. You barely notice that it's a nothing role that exists only for exposition. I was hoping that changing the actress from Tamara Feldman to Danielle Harris would be an upgrade, but even as the lead, MaryBeth is a nothing character.
This being a slasher, the cast needs to be filled out for the body count to pile up (according to IMDB, there are 17 on-screen kills in this film, a record for a slasher). Back is Tony Todd as the Reverend Zombie. Instead of a hilarious cameo like in the first one, he plays it mostly straight and delivers the longest backstory ever (and why do we need it? We already know all we need to know in the first film). Wasted. Perry Shen is back playing the twin brother of Shawn, Justin. He's in another movie entirely. Insanely charismatic and totally believable as the concerned brother. The only believable character in the film. Wasted.
The rest comes in the form of some bull shit Victor Crowley hunting party. Most are mildly obnoxious or given some cheap backstory to try to make the viewer care, but we don't. There's no chemistry amongst the cast. It's incredible watching the difference in this and the first film. I wanted to be friends with Joel David Moore and Deon Richardson (and even though he lied a lot, Perry Shen). I can't fault the cast, though (OK, in some cases, I definitely can), the writing is abysmal. Attempts at humor fall flat and the entire pretense for the story doesn't work. No way is MaryBeth going back for her family. She barely made it out alive the first time and seemed totally content leaving them behind.
Personally, I don't understand the hunting party story decision. I think the film would've been much more convincing if MaryBeth had gone to the police saying simply that her tour group was killed by a psychopath and that she needs help. They need her to escort them through the swamp, you've got your cadre of victims built in, and most importantly, you don't need the momentum stopping exposition.
There are some moments that add a little to the original, such as Justin being the brother who normally gives the tours, but Shawn was covering that night, which is why he did such a poor job with the tour. Reverend Zombie gets the money from the tours after all even though he said he doesn't run them anymore. There are also some fun allusions to other films such as Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon and Green's own Frozen. But all that cannot sustain a movie.
Probably the biggest miscalculation made by Green is that without all of the other key ingredients of the first film, the violent set pieces don't play the same way. Instead of the film being taken in light-hearted over-the-top fun, it winds up excessively brutal. The fun is zapped from the film. I'm not sure I've ever experienced a bigger chasm between expectation and end result. There was mild controversy about how the film was handled by theaters upon distribution, but I think it's mostly because it's a terrible movie. Don't watch Hatchet II.
In a rare instance of following the lead of the original, Hatchet II has a shitty trailer, too.
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