Bob Clark had a strange career. He's got three legitimate classics that show a mastery of different styles and tones : Black Christmas, A Christmas Story, and Porky's. Yet he ended his career on the likes of Baby Geniuses 1 and 2 and Karate Dog (sadly, he was killed along with his son by a drunk driver in 2007). Some would even throw 1990's Loose Cannons into that pile of stinkers, but I have a soft spot for that film.
Clark is known primarily for comedies (as much as I want to believe otherwise, Black Christmas still falls well below the cult/mainstream divide, especially after the flashy big-budget remake). I'm not sure why he transitioned away from horror after his Sherlock Holmes/Jack the Ripper mystery Murder by Decree, but it's a little disappointing as not only did he have a knack for the genre, he helped to create the slasher sub-genre with Black Christmas.
Deathdream was released mere months before Black Christmas and one can really see the influence of his experience making the former on the latter. There's heavy use of POV camerawork early in Deathdream which Black Christmas would use to great effect and many sound and music cues are nearly identical in the films. Both films also continue action over the end credits. Deathdream isn't as good as Black Christmas, but there's definitely a direct line between the two.
The basic plot entails a son, Andy, returning home from Vietnam after his parents receive notice that he has been killed in action (the film implies that he returns as result of a sort of prayer and follows the "be careful what you wish for" model). He's nothing like he was before the war which his mother attributes to needing time to settle in and recover but his dad isn't so sure, claiming he never acted like that when he got back from Korea (or maybe WWII, I forget which). There's a daughter/sister who is generally treated like shit even though they keep her in the dark about everything yet she still retains a mostly positive attitude. Coinciding with his return, a truck driver who gave Andy a ride into town has been found dead. Suspicions rise. A family falls apart.
Deathdream is unlike most horror movies I've seen. It's deliberate and focused more on the dissolution of the family than on shock, scares, and gore. It's suspenseful, but it's not the stuff of nightmares (though my fiance jumped several times and seemed legitimately creeped out the whole time). The film seems more concerned with making a comment on what the Vietnam War is doing to families and the soldiers fighting. Andy comes home and simply sits around, rocking ceaselessly in his creaky rocking chair staring into space. Clearly, his zombie-like state is representative of PTSD. In order to remain youthful and not start decaying, Andy takes blood from others and injects it into himself, much like many Vietnam vets turned to drugs upon their return home. Amidst all of this, his mother is unwilling to seek outside help and his dad gets drunk. Deathdream works very well on this allegorical level and doesn't feel too heavy-handed in its approach.
But Deathdream isn't just about Vietnam. It's about an undead soldier! And truth-be-told, once it turned out that Andy didn't look like a zombie, I had no idea where the movie was going. The action moves very slowly. To the point where I questioned if there would even be a market for a movie like this today (I'm not even sure there was in 1974). However, the pace does a great job of building tension and allows all of the characters time to draw their own conclusions about Andy. The closest comparison to Deathdream I though about is George Romero's Martin (1977). Both are sort of unconventional vampire stories in a way that take their time to tell the story. Also, both feature early work from Tom Savini (Deathdream was his first job).
Deathdream slow-burns to a pretty exciting climax where Savini gets to show off that he was always pretty good with make-up effects. The payoff isn't unexpected, but it's appropriate. It's not the greatest horror movie I've ever seen, but it attempts a lot more than most. I highly recommend it if you're looking for something other than disposable thrills.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Short and Sweet
Gotta put out my Netflix Roundup before I go on my horror binge and write about those all month long. It's going to be a fun month.
The X-Files: I Want to Believe -- Chris Carter
After spending much of the past year watching ever episode of The X-Files, as well as the movie and The Simpsons crossover, and toiling through season nine (Agent Reyes is a bore), I was excited to get to the final movie. All I knew about the movie was the subtitle "I Want to Believe" and that there's lots of snow. Well, "I Want to Believe" is featured prominently on a poster featuring a UFO throughout the series and there was lots of snow in the first movie, so I was fully expecting alien mythology. Instead, I got a shitty police procedural about a priest who may or may not have psychic powers but definitely diddled little boys. I'm a big fan of Billy Connolly and he did well with the role, but dear lord couldn't Carter and co-writer Frank Spotnitz come up with something better? It feels like they had this script lying around and decided that, with a few minor tweaks, it could be an X-File! And all the bullshit about Scully and the boy who needs brain surgery is just a drag. We don't watch The X-Files for melodrama. We watch if for awesome, which there is very little of here. It they had to go the monster-of-the-week rout, why not do it like one of the oddball, genre-defying efforts from seasons 4-6? They needed Vince Gilligan on this one. It's also a little odd ignoring everything from season 9 and even calling it The X-Files when neither Scully or Mulder are agents anymore (and I'm not a fan of them being lovers... it's weird). And Scully is ridiculously written. She begs Mulder to help the FBI yet almost immediately demands that he stop. It's obvious from the moment they meet in the first episode that he's obsessive. Why is she surprised when he won't give up? Scully's much smarter than she's made out to be in this film. Finally, why are Amanda Peet and Xzibit there? Wouldn't it make more sense to have Skinner draw them back into a case? This movie blows.
Ghosts of Mars -- John Carpenter
Speaking of blows... what happened to John Carpenter? I have yet to see The Ward, but haven't heard good things. His episode of Masters of Horror, "Cigarette Burns," was pretty middling (I haven't seen "Pro-Life yet"). He's made some of the greatest horror movies ever, yet hasn't really done anything worthwhile since 1994 (In the Mouth of Madness... though 1998's Vampires is kind of fun if only for James Woods). You hear about director's losing their touch as they get older, but Carpenter underwent a drastic quality slide. The fact that he took a nine year break from making movies explains a lot about his mindset (along with him actually explaining a lot about his mindset). It's possible he could have gotten a good movie out of Ghosts of Mars. The idea of demonic spirits possessing a person and turning them into blood-thirsty demons always fun. Add to that that when the possessed body is killed, the spirits can simply move on to another body. It's an unstoppable force. But having Ice Cube and Natasha Henstridge as your insanely uncharismatic leads is brutal. They are supposed to have lots of playful banter but it simply dies in their mouths (sadly, I can't find any clips of this online). Jason Statham is the only one who really comes out of this film looking good. At least I'll always have The Thing...
The Front Page -- Lewis Milestone
His Girl Friday -- Howard Hawkes
The Front Page -- Billy Wilder
Maybe Carpenter was looking to replicate some of the insanely witty dialogue from one of his cinematic hero's films. Sadly, he didn't have Rosalind Russell or Cary Grant in his cast (now that's a version of Ghosts of Mars I want to see).
Modesty Blaise -- Joseph Losey
This films is poorly conceived at nearly every level. When one thinks of super-spies and parodies, Joseph Losey doesn't immediately pop into mind. His sensibilities couldn't be more inappropriate for the material. The man lacks the sort of broad, comic timing to pull off any of the gags in this film. Add onto that Monica Vitti whose dull, disinterested, vacant stare was perfect for the slow and deliberate shooting style of Antonioni (whose films I don't much care for) is totally out of place as an ass-kicking super-spy. She literally has zero personality. Sure, she's attractive in a bland sort of way in that the longer you look at her, the sleepier you get, but she's certainly no hero (or anti-hero, as the case may be). Modesty Blaise the film, as opposed to the character, is sprawling and confusing with bizarre voiceover that seems to be coming from people spying on characters but in reality seems impossible. Maybe I'm missing the joke, but this film falls into that pile of movies that people can only enjoy for camp, except that at two hours, it's too long even for that.
Thank god I'm spending a month with horror movies. Even if they're bad, someone's going to get killed or get naked (or both!).
The X-Files: I Want to Believe -- Chris Carter
After spending much of the past year watching ever episode of The X-Files, as well as the movie and The Simpsons crossover, and toiling through season nine (Agent Reyes is a bore), I was excited to get to the final movie. All I knew about the movie was the subtitle "I Want to Believe" and that there's lots of snow. Well, "I Want to Believe" is featured prominently on a poster featuring a UFO throughout the series and there was lots of snow in the first movie, so I was fully expecting alien mythology. Instead, I got a shitty police procedural about a priest who may or may not have psychic powers but definitely diddled little boys. I'm a big fan of Billy Connolly and he did well with the role, but dear lord couldn't Carter and co-writer Frank Spotnitz come up with something better? It feels like they had this script lying around and decided that, with a few minor tweaks, it could be an X-File! And all the bullshit about Scully and the boy who needs brain surgery is just a drag. We don't watch The X-Files for melodrama. We watch if for awesome, which there is very little of here. It they had to go the monster-of-the-week rout, why not do it like one of the oddball, genre-defying efforts from seasons 4-6? They needed Vince Gilligan on this one. It's also a little odd ignoring everything from season 9 and even calling it The X-Files when neither Scully or Mulder are agents anymore (and I'm not a fan of them being lovers... it's weird). And Scully is ridiculously written. She begs Mulder to help the FBI yet almost immediately demands that he stop. It's obvious from the moment they meet in the first episode that he's obsessive. Why is she surprised when he won't give up? Scully's much smarter than she's made out to be in this film. Finally, why are Amanda Peet and Xzibit there? Wouldn't it make more sense to have Skinner draw them back into a case? This movie blows.
Ghosts of Mars -- John Carpenter
Speaking of blows... what happened to John Carpenter? I have yet to see The Ward, but haven't heard good things. His episode of Masters of Horror, "Cigarette Burns," was pretty middling (I haven't seen "Pro-Life yet"). He's made some of the greatest horror movies ever, yet hasn't really done anything worthwhile since 1994 (In the Mouth of Madness... though 1998's Vampires is kind of fun if only for James Woods). You hear about director's losing their touch as they get older, but Carpenter underwent a drastic quality slide. The fact that he took a nine year break from making movies explains a lot about his mindset (along with him actually explaining a lot about his mindset). It's possible he could have gotten a good movie out of Ghosts of Mars. The idea of demonic spirits possessing a person and turning them into blood-thirsty demons always fun. Add to that that when the possessed body is killed, the spirits can simply move on to another body. It's an unstoppable force. But having Ice Cube and Natasha Henstridge as your insanely uncharismatic leads is brutal. They are supposed to have lots of playful banter but it simply dies in their mouths (sadly, I can't find any clips of this online). Jason Statham is the only one who really comes out of this film looking good. At least I'll always have The Thing...
The Front Page -- Lewis Milestone
His Girl Friday -- Howard Hawkes
The Front Page -- Billy Wilder
Maybe Carpenter was looking to replicate some of the insanely witty dialogue from one of his cinematic hero's films. Sadly, he didn't have Rosalind Russell or Cary Grant in his cast (now that's a version of Ghosts of Mars I want to see).
Modesty Blaise -- Joseph Losey
This films is poorly conceived at nearly every level. When one thinks of super-spies and parodies, Joseph Losey doesn't immediately pop into mind. His sensibilities couldn't be more inappropriate for the material. The man lacks the sort of broad, comic timing to pull off any of the gags in this film. Add onto that Monica Vitti whose dull, disinterested, vacant stare was perfect for the slow and deliberate shooting style of Antonioni (whose films I don't much care for) is totally out of place as an ass-kicking super-spy. She literally has zero personality. Sure, she's attractive in a bland sort of way in that the longer you look at her, the sleepier you get, but she's certainly no hero (or anti-hero, as the case may be). Modesty Blaise the film, as opposed to the character, is sprawling and confusing with bizarre voiceover that seems to be coming from people spying on characters but in reality seems impossible. Maybe I'm missing the joke, but this film falls into that pile of movies that people can only enjoy for camp, except that at two hours, it's too long even for that.
Thank god I'm spending a month with horror movies. Even if they're bad, someone's going to get killed or get naked (or both!).
Friday, September 30, 2011
The Front Page and Those That Follow
Tomorrow begins my immersion into the world of horror movies, so I really wanted to get this post in before that happens. I noticed that Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon were in a version of The Front Page in the '70s and because I love Matthau, I immediately put it on my queue. That directed me to the original filmed version of the play from 1931. Knowing that His Girl Friday is based on the same material, I thought it might be interesting to watch all three and see how they compare to each other. It's kind of like what I did with Psycho and House, but less esoteric and the same basic script. The Front Page was also adapted as Switching Channels in 1988 with Burt Reynolds, Kathleen Turner, and Christopher Reeve, but it looked dreadful, so I passed.
The Front Page ('31)
I haven't found any support of this, but I'd imagine this version is basically the play put on screen with some minor tweaks here and there. Lewis Milestone directs with considerable panache given that sound came to film in a major way only four years prior (in The Front Page '74, Matthau grabs a star off of an All Quiet on the Western Front poster. Even though that film takes place in 1929 and AQotWF came out in 1930, the anachronism pays tribute to Milestone and is appreciated). There are some impressive walking and talking scenes and an amazing scene where the camera whip pans up and down to different reporters' faces. I've never seen that particular camera move before and am pretty surprised that no one has paid homage to it to my knowledge.
The opening credits are done in the form of a newspaper with pictures of the cast to coincide, which is fairly obvious, but still pretty sweet. It would be a cool prop to have. My biggest problem with this film is that, at least with the Instant View version, the dialogue is nearly impossible to understand. I know the film is funny because I hear a lot of punchlines and throwaway lines, but they all come out of context so they don't have as much impact. I don't know if it's because they were still having trouble recording dialogue that early in sound production or if the master simply had bad sound (I tend to think the latter). Basically, watching this version of the film made me want to watch the play (a feeling that never went away). I can't be too hard on the film, especially after watching the two remakes because I know the source material is good and that the acting was fine. And really, can you get too rough on a film from 1931 that has a character flip off a judge? This film also has one of the greatest final lines ever, which is repeated in the '74 remake and no less funny.
His Girl Friday ('40)
This is a weird trailer.
His Girl Friday is easily the best of these three versions of The Front Page. It was very astute of director Howard Hawkes to realize that it wasn't a great leap to make Hildy Johnson and Walter Burns former lovers. They already have that sort of antogonistic/admiring relationship. The change of Hildy from a male to a female gives the material another level of conflict and unpredictability. And if there's one thing the material already did well, it was conflict and unpredictability. I've never seen so many roadblocks thrown up so fast that prevent people from getting what they want. The script, and all credit must go to the original by Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur, is a marvel. I suppose giving Charles Lederer (who did additional dialogue on the '31 version and wrote The Thing from Another World), some credit is also due.
Whereas the original starts with an opening title stating that the film takes place in a "Mythical Kingdom," His Girl Friday pours on the snark telling us that surely there are no newspaper men like the ones depicted. Because Hildy and Walter are now exes, more time is spent with them and on their relationship, which is great because Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell play off of each other so well. Also, Walter Burns may be one of the greatest characters ever created. He's conniving and dastardly and charismatic in all versions and it's incredibly fun just to watch him lie to people. Watching him put Hildy's fiance, Bruce, into awkward situation after awkward situation and Bruce having no idea what is going on is endlessly rewarding. Ralph Bellamy does great work being the nice guy caught in the middle of something much bigger than him that he can't understand.
Due to the refiguring of Hildy and the relationship with Walter, adjustments to the original needed to be made and it's fun to see how they incorporated stuff that could have otherwise been left out. The stolen watch gag gets put in the middle of the film (and pretty much any time Bruce gets arrested is a version of the watch gag). In both this and the '79 remake, whenever there are lists of things or locations and jobs mentioned, basically any time a joke isn't driving the plot (like when Walter is telling Duffy what to move around to fit the new story in the paper), it feels like the screenwriter viewed it as his time to shine and came up with new, funny stuff to say ("Take Hitler and stick him in the funny pages!"). There's really almost not enough time to laugh for fear of missing something else entirely since the it's so dialogue heavy. In fact, all three films feature virtually no score. I'd imagine it's because they want to keep the focus on the dialogue.
The Front Page ('74)
I like Billy Wilder, but like many directors, the older he got, the more his work suffered. His version of The Front Page isn't bad because it's hard to screw up the source material (*ahem*), but his film is pretty listless stylistically. Most of the scenes just sit there and there's nothing filmically that matches the pace of the dialogue. The 1931 version is more interesting visually than this film. The framing, camera moves, and editing are all lethargic. It almost feels like Wilder had given up. I also hoped that it would be updated for the '70s and tackle some of the politics of the time (*cough*), but I understand why they didn't since newspapers weren't quite as important as they used to be.
The biggest change to the other films is that there is quite a bit of cursing. Now, I'm all for cursing. There is a lot of humor to be mined from strategically placed swears, but the way the original and His Girl Friday handle cursing is so much funnier. Instead of having characters blatant spout out swears, they react to unheard filth on the phone among other things. For example:
detriment to the film, but feels like it's hiding the like of interesting direction. It also results in a loss of the panic and claustrophobia once things really amp up.
Some other things it does worse that the other films (and again, it's still quite entertaining) are the casting of Molly and the portrayal of "murderer" Earl Williams. Carol Burnett plays Molly screamingly over-the-top and it's very distracting. Apparently, she wasn't very happy with her performance, either. Earl, on the other hand, is supposed to be meek and weak, but is played almost like Woody Allen here. He's got zingers and one-liners and a general apathy towards his situation. It doesn't really fit a character who's going to be hanged on trumped up charges.
So yeah, no surprised that the classic is the best of the bunch, but it was a lot of fun to watch the films in succession. It's a testament to the material that it never once got boring watching basically the same story unfold three times in a row. I can only dream about writing dialogue as quick and witty as Hecht, MacArthur, and all the others. Probably the biggest lesson I've taken from this experience is that I wish Walter Matthau was in every movie.
The Front Page ('31)
The opening credits are done in the form of a newspaper with pictures of the cast to coincide, which is fairly obvious, but still pretty sweet. It would be a cool prop to have. My biggest problem with this film is that, at least with the Instant View version, the dialogue is nearly impossible to understand. I know the film is funny because I hear a lot of punchlines and throwaway lines, but they all come out of context so they don't have as much impact. I don't know if it's because they were still having trouble recording dialogue that early in sound production or if the master simply had bad sound (I tend to think the latter). Basically, watching this version of the film made me want to watch the play (a feeling that never went away). I can't be too hard on the film, especially after watching the two remakes because I know the source material is good and that the acting was fine. And really, can you get too rough on a film from 1931 that has a character flip off a judge? This film also has one of the greatest final lines ever, which is repeated in the '74 remake and no less funny.
His Girl Friday ('40)
This is a weird trailer.
His Girl Friday is easily the best of these three versions of The Front Page. It was very astute of director Howard Hawkes to realize that it wasn't a great leap to make Hildy Johnson and Walter Burns former lovers. They already have that sort of antogonistic/admiring relationship. The change of Hildy from a male to a female gives the material another level of conflict and unpredictability. And if there's one thing the material already did well, it was conflict and unpredictability. I've never seen so many roadblocks thrown up so fast that prevent people from getting what they want. The script, and all credit must go to the original by Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur, is a marvel. I suppose giving Charles Lederer (who did additional dialogue on the '31 version and wrote The Thing from Another World), some credit is also due.
Whereas the original starts with an opening title stating that the film takes place in a "Mythical Kingdom," His Girl Friday pours on the snark telling us that surely there are no newspaper men like the ones depicted. Because Hildy and Walter are now exes, more time is spent with them and on their relationship, which is great because Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell play off of each other so well. Also, Walter Burns may be one of the greatest characters ever created. He's conniving and dastardly and charismatic in all versions and it's incredibly fun just to watch him lie to people. Watching him put Hildy's fiance, Bruce, into awkward situation after awkward situation and Bruce having no idea what is going on is endlessly rewarding. Ralph Bellamy does great work being the nice guy caught in the middle of something much bigger than him that he can't understand.
Due to the refiguring of Hildy and the relationship with Walter, adjustments to the original needed to be made and it's fun to see how they incorporated stuff that could have otherwise been left out. The stolen watch gag gets put in the middle of the film (and pretty much any time Bruce gets arrested is a version of the watch gag). In both this and the '79 remake, whenever there are lists of things or locations and jobs mentioned, basically any time a joke isn't driving the plot (like when Walter is telling Duffy what to move around to fit the new story in the paper), it feels like the screenwriter viewed it as his time to shine and came up with new, funny stuff to say ("Take Hitler and stick him in the funny pages!"). There's really almost not enough time to laugh for fear of missing something else entirely since the it's so dialogue heavy. In fact, all three films feature virtually no score. I'd imagine it's because they want to keep the focus on the dialogue.
The Front Page ('74)
I like Billy Wilder, but like many directors, the older he got, the more his work suffered. His version of The Front Page isn't bad because it's hard to screw up the source material (*ahem*), but his film is pretty listless stylistically. Most of the scenes just sit there and there's nothing filmically that matches the pace of the dialogue. The 1931 version is more interesting visually than this film. The framing, camera moves, and editing are all lethargic. It almost feels like Wilder had given up. I also hoped that it would be updated for the '70s and tackle some of the politics of the time (*cough*), but I understand why they didn't since newspapers weren't quite as important as they used to be.
The biggest change to the other films is that there is quite a bit of cursing. Now, I'm all for cursing. There is a lot of humor to be mined from strategically placed swears, but the way the original and His Girl Friday handle cursing is so much funnier. Instead of having characters blatant spout out swears, they react to unheard filth on the phone among other things. For example:
Oh, good evening madam. Now listen, you ten-cent glamour girl. You can't keep Butch away from his duty!... What's that?... You say that again, I'll come over there and kick you in the teeth!... Say, what kind of language is that? Now look here youThe other major difference is that Wilder tried to "open up" the film a bit more. Instead of spending most of the time in small rooms, we venture out into the halls of the building, into a theater, jail, and to a train station. I've never understood the need to try to make a play expansive (I fall under the Sidney Lumet school of thought on the subject). The material should dictate the camera and locations. It's not a
detriment to the film, but feels like it's hiding the like of interesting direction. It also results in a loss of the panic and claustrophobia once things really amp up.
Some other things it does worse that the other films (and again, it's still quite entertaining) are the casting of Molly and the portrayal of "murderer" Earl Williams. Carol Burnett plays Molly screamingly over-the-top and it's very distracting. Apparently, she wasn't very happy with her performance, either. Earl, on the other hand, is supposed to be meek and weak, but is played almost like Woody Allen here. He's got zingers and one-liners and a general apathy towards his situation. It doesn't really fit a character who's going to be hanged on trumped up charges.
So yeah, no surprised that the classic is the best of the bunch, but it was a lot of fun to watch the films in succession. It's a testament to the material that it never once got boring watching basically the same story unfold three times in a row. I can only dream about writing dialogue as quick and witty as Hecht, MacArthur, and all the others. Probably the biggest lesson I've taken from this experience is that I wish Walter Matthau was in every movie.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
How Long Until Next Season?
I never really thought that the season would get worse than the first two weeks. And through the summer, I was confident it wouldn't (also, sorry Braves). But a shit-storm came in September and the pitching, hitting, and defense all shut down. 7 - 20 record. It wouldn't even matter that much right now if the Yankees hold on to their 7-0 lead through seven whole innings (I'm convinced the Yankees tanked on purpose because they didn't want to risk playing the Sox in the playoffs. That's what I'm telling myself, anyway). We'd be going to a playoff, not that my confidence is that high that the Sox would turn things around for that game, or the playoffs had they made it. And that's gets to the crux of what I want to talk about.
Blowing a 9-game Wild Card lead (and losing any hope in taking the division) sucks, but that's not what's making me sad. In Boston, most people are moving on to the Patriots (many probably did a few weeks ago), then the Celtics, then the Bruins. The only sport I care about is baseball. Instead of getting another month of passion and watching my team try to win a championship, I have to wait until next April to watch them play a game that matters. Watching the Rays and their fans celebrate after the walk-off homerun in the 12th, sure I was depressed, but how can that sort of unbridled enthusiasm not make you a little happy? And that's the exact thing that I'll be missing. I'll watch the playoffs and enjoy them. I have teams I'm pulling for (Rays, Tigers, Brewers, and Phillies, in that order). But I won't be emotionally invested in the games.
I'm also not going to get too upset about the whole thing. I could be a Cubs fan. The oldest person in the world (115 years old) might remember the last time they won a World Series, but few others do. Or I could be a Pirates fan who haven't had a winning record since 1992 and, before that, lost three consecutive National League Championship Series. At least the Sox give me something to root for late in the season.
I'm sad that I won't have the chance to watch the games with my friends who are fans of other playoff bound teams. I'm sad that I don't get to listen to Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy goof off in the booth. But mostly, I'm sad that I won't be able to watch the team I love play until next year.
Blowing a 9-game Wild Card lead (and losing any hope in taking the division) sucks, but that's not what's making me sad. In Boston, most people are moving on to the Patriots (many probably did a few weeks ago), then the Celtics, then the Bruins. The only sport I care about is baseball. Instead of getting another month of passion and watching my team try to win a championship, I have to wait until next April to watch them play a game that matters. Watching the Rays and their fans celebrate after the walk-off homerun in the 12th, sure I was depressed, but how can that sort of unbridled enthusiasm not make you a little happy? And that's the exact thing that I'll be missing. I'll watch the playoffs and enjoy them. I have teams I'm pulling for (Rays, Tigers, Brewers, and Phillies, in that order). But I won't be emotionally invested in the games.
I'm also not going to get too upset about the whole thing. I could be a Cubs fan. The oldest person in the world (115 years old) might remember the last time they won a World Series, but few others do. Or I could be a Pirates fan who haven't had a winning record since 1992 and, before that, lost three consecutive National League Championship Series. At least the Sox give me something to root for late in the season.
I'm sad that I won't have the chance to watch the games with my friends who are fans of other playoff bound teams. I'm sad that I don't get to listen to Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy goof off in the booth. But mostly, I'm sad that I won't be able to watch the team I love play until next year.
Monday, September 26, 2011
(Another) Weird Al Post: Alpocalypse
I bought Weird Al's "Alpocalypse" the other week (on vinyl*!). After my first listen, I was sully prepared to talk about what a weak and lazy effort it is, especially coming off of the amazing "Straight Outta Lynwood." However, a few more listens have softened that opinion, much to my delight. It's still got its share of drivel, but there are some pleasant surprises.
I still kind of stand by my "lazy" assertion (so... kneel by it?). Of the twelve songs on "Alpocalpyse," four of them deal with crappy, pseudo-current, pop culture-ish issues: TMZ, Craigslist, Ringtone, and Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. He's not singing anything that hasn't been said before about any of these subjects and I doubt that any of these songs will be the definitive word, either (though Ringtone is a kind of fun Queen-y pastiche and Craiglist does a good job on The Doors with Ray Manzarek on keyboard!). I think it's fairly clear that I prefer Weird Al when he's free to just be weird and not necessarily concerned with modern culture (a strange assertion given the man makes his career of to pop parodies and homages).
A big problem Weird Al faces that affected my first listen is that the pop music he is parodying simply isn't that good. As far as first impressions go, the music is foregrounded whereas the lyrics aren't really noticed. So on songs like TMZ, Perform This Way, Another Tattoo, and Party in the CIA, you're stuck with some pretty terrible music and it's hard to make oneself fight the uphill battle towards appreciation (not that they all deserve appreciation). And even though Perform This Way is easily the worst of the bunch, I can't help but smile when I here it because the music video is so damn disturbing.
The exception, and a notable one at that, is Whatever You Like, a parody of a T.I. song of the same name. As usual, he nails the genre while totally mocking the extravagance and boisterousness typically associated with hip-hop. If it wasn't for CNR, Whatever You Like would be the highlight of "Alpocaplypse." Associated with this problem is that, for the first time ever, I don't recognize half of the songs on his polka. In fact, I only recognize two in the whole song by ear and about half if I look at the list of songs featured. Still, kudos for the name of the song: Polka Face. And you can never really go wrong with a polka.
The only other songs I haven't talked about are Skipper Dan and If That Isn't Love which both fall squarely into Weird Al's several wheelhouses. Skipper Dan is about shattered dreams and unmet expectations mixing peppy music with a harsh reality. If That Isn't Love is a pseudo-love song based around low expectations. But even at his worst, Weird Al is able to turn an inspired phrase that almost makes the bad songs worthwhile (example from Another Tattoo: "Check out this Boba Fett... he's playing clarinet!").
I don't know if it's who Weird Al decided to parody, but for the first time ever I questioned who he's making the music for. Obviously, it's for his dedicated fans and, as White and Nerdy showed, he occasionally gets some crossover appeal, but is there a lot of crossover between Weird Al fans and Taylor Swift fans? Most of his parodies on "Alpocalypse" I wouldn't recognize as parodies. Am I just out of touch? Does it even matter if the source is known as long as the song is entertaining? The polka is still awesome, but it's more fun when one recognizes the songs in that context. Otherwise, he may as well be making up his own lyrics. Regardless, "Alpocalype" is still fun and while not his best, there's some gold in that thar hill.
*Seriously, any new release vinyl should come with a free digital download. I can't believe that hasn't caught on with everyone yet. Neither "Alpocalypse" or Bill Callahan's "America" came with one. Do the companies releasing these albums not understand how most music is received these days? That even though people who buy vinyl like it, they still like the ability to take the music with them?
I still kind of stand by my "lazy" assertion (so... kneel by it?). Of the twelve songs on "Alpocalpyse," four of them deal with crappy, pseudo-current, pop culture-ish issues: TMZ, Craigslist, Ringtone, and Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. He's not singing anything that hasn't been said before about any of these subjects and I doubt that any of these songs will be the definitive word, either (though Ringtone is a kind of fun Queen-y pastiche and Craiglist does a good job on The Doors with Ray Manzarek on keyboard!). I think it's fairly clear that I prefer Weird Al when he's free to just be weird and not necessarily concerned with modern culture (a strange assertion given the man makes his career of to pop parodies and homages).
A big problem Weird Al faces that affected my first listen is that the pop music he is parodying simply isn't that good. As far as first impressions go, the music is foregrounded whereas the lyrics aren't really noticed. So on songs like TMZ, Perform This Way, Another Tattoo, and Party in the CIA, you're stuck with some pretty terrible music and it's hard to make oneself fight the uphill battle towards appreciation (not that they all deserve appreciation). And even though Perform This Way is easily the worst of the bunch, I can't help but smile when I here it because the music video is so damn disturbing.
The exception, and a notable one at that, is Whatever You Like, a parody of a T.I. song of the same name. As usual, he nails the genre while totally mocking the extravagance and boisterousness typically associated with hip-hop. If it wasn't for CNR, Whatever You Like would be the highlight of "Alpocaplypse." Associated with this problem is that, for the first time ever, I don't recognize half of the songs on his polka. In fact, I only recognize two in the whole song by ear and about half if I look at the list of songs featured. Still, kudos for the name of the song: Polka Face. And you can never really go wrong with a polka.
The only other songs I haven't talked about are Skipper Dan and If That Isn't Love which both fall squarely into Weird Al's several wheelhouses. Skipper Dan is about shattered dreams and unmet expectations mixing peppy music with a harsh reality. If That Isn't Love is a pseudo-love song based around low expectations. But even at his worst, Weird Al is able to turn an inspired phrase that almost makes the bad songs worthwhile (example from Another Tattoo: "Check out this Boba Fett... he's playing clarinet!").
I don't know if it's who Weird Al decided to parody, but for the first time ever I questioned who he's making the music for. Obviously, it's for his dedicated fans and, as White and Nerdy showed, he occasionally gets some crossover appeal, but is there a lot of crossover between Weird Al fans and Taylor Swift fans? Most of his parodies on "Alpocalypse" I wouldn't recognize as parodies. Am I just out of touch? Does it even matter if the source is known as long as the song is entertaining? The polka is still awesome, but it's more fun when one recognizes the songs in that context. Otherwise, he may as well be making up his own lyrics. Regardless, "Alpocalype" is still fun and while not his best, there's some gold in that thar hill.
*Seriously, any new release vinyl should come with a free digital download. I can't believe that hasn't caught on with everyone yet. Neither "Alpocalypse" or Bill Callahan's "America" came with one. Do the companies releasing these albums not understand how most music is received these days? That even though people who buy vinyl like it, they still like the ability to take the music with them?
Friday, September 23, 2011
The Horror Creep
October is almost here and already my queue is filling up with horror movies. Once October arrives, there will be no respite, much to my girlfriend's dismay.
Mount up!
The Naked City -- Jules Dassin
I hold in my mind an image of Criterion of infallibility. That their taste in movies is impeccable and everything they put out is worth my time. I know that this isn't the case, but they do such good work that it's hard not to think that. I'm sure that there are people who like The Naked City. They like the fact that the producer, Mark Hellinger, narrates the whole thing in the most annoying way possible, negating the whole "show, don't tell" model of filmmaking (he died shortly after a preview screening, so I choose to believe Dassin didn't want to disrespect the man by removing the voiceover). I found it to be incredibly off-putting and took me right out of the film. Who cares about the murder? This bastard keeps talking in my ear! Fortunately, I know Dassin has made some awesome movies (Rififi, Night and the City), so I won't stay away from his films. I'd just never recommend this one (though the ending is a pretty sweet set piece on the Brooklyn Bridge).
Dagon -- Stuart Gordon
Stuart Gordon has dipped into the H.P. Lovecraft well numerous times (Re-Animator, From Beyond, Dreams in the Witch House from the TV series "Masters of Horror"). I'm not the biggest fan of Re-Animator, though I know many who love it. From Beyond rules and Dreams in the Witch House was good for the standards of MoH. Dagon had the potential to be something great. Despite itself, there's a lot of cool stuff going on with people turning into sea-beings. Clearly, budget held Gordon back. But even more than that, casting is the biggest issue. You can almost hear Gordon crying out for Jeffrey Combs to de-age 20 years and star in this. There's a low-rent actor trying to emulate Combs, but failing miserably. The other glaring problem is that Dagon isn't directed with much style. I don't know what happened to Gordon since the '80s (I'd imagine working on low-budget genre movies with little more than cult success can get one down), but there's no energy on screen. Much like House, give this movie to Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson, or Guillermo del Toro and it can come alive. I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't terrible, but disappointed it wasn't better.
I'm pretty sure at 4:40 he's channeling Stephen King.
Wordplay -- Patrick Creadon
This is probably the best of the "documentaries about games/hobbies" movies I've seen. I'm in awe of how fast these people can do incredibly hard puzzles and can't even attempt the Monday NY Times Crossword without thinking about how bad I'm doing compared to these people. Not only are the people competing mind-blowing, but it walks you through the making of a puzzle. I can't even imagine being that smart or clever. The only knock I have against the movie is that the 20-year old contestant reminds me of Michael Rapaport and that's never a good thing.
Charley Varrick -- Don Siegel
Walter Matthau is the man. I don't know why we don't have any actors like him or Ernest Borgnine or Warren Oates anymore. Versatile actors who aren't necessarily pretty, but can own the screen. Paul Giamatti is good, but I can't see him as a badass. Charley Varrick is a crop duster/bank robber who accidentally steals money from a bank storing mob money and the mob wants it. Joe Don Baker is amazing as the man sent to look for the money. The man has no ethics and is a thrill to watch. It's a bit of a cat-and-mouse situation, but I get a kick out of watching Varrick act so logical about everything, even when it's difficult. This is a great movie you may not have heard of but it's available on Instant View. And just like in Dirty Harry, Andrew Robinson is terrible in this movie, too.
The Swarm -- Irwin Allen
Kablooey!
House II -- Ethan Wiley
The Horror Show (House III) -- James Isaac
Boing!
Dracula A.D. 1972 -- Alan Gibson
Like most Hammer Horror films, I'm happy this exists. I love the set design and the vibe of the whole thing. I love the artwork that goes along with it. I love how much cleavage the studio brought into the world. But in the end, the movies are just OK. Not enough was done to show Dracula in 1972. Most of the time, he's still in an old castle or church in the country, so it doesn't feel like modern day. If more had been done to bring Dracula into this culture, I think the film could have been a lot better. Still, I enjoy spending my time with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing, so I can never be too hard on these films.
Mount up!
The Naked City -- Jules Dassin
I hold in my mind an image of Criterion of infallibility. That their taste in movies is impeccable and everything they put out is worth my time. I know that this isn't the case, but they do such good work that it's hard not to think that. I'm sure that there are people who like The Naked City. They like the fact that the producer, Mark Hellinger, narrates the whole thing in the most annoying way possible, negating the whole "show, don't tell" model of filmmaking (he died shortly after a preview screening, so I choose to believe Dassin didn't want to disrespect the man by removing the voiceover). I found it to be incredibly off-putting and took me right out of the film. Who cares about the murder? This bastard keeps talking in my ear! Fortunately, I know Dassin has made some awesome movies (Rififi, Night and the City), so I won't stay away from his films. I'd just never recommend this one (though the ending is a pretty sweet set piece on the Brooklyn Bridge).
Dagon -- Stuart Gordon
Stuart Gordon has dipped into the H.P. Lovecraft well numerous times (Re-Animator, From Beyond, Dreams in the Witch House from the TV series "Masters of Horror"). I'm not the biggest fan of Re-Animator, though I know many who love it. From Beyond rules and Dreams in the Witch House was good for the standards of MoH. Dagon had the potential to be something great. Despite itself, there's a lot of cool stuff going on with people turning into sea-beings. Clearly, budget held Gordon back. But even more than that, casting is the biggest issue. You can almost hear Gordon crying out for Jeffrey Combs to de-age 20 years and star in this. There's a low-rent actor trying to emulate Combs, but failing miserably. The other glaring problem is that Dagon isn't directed with much style. I don't know what happened to Gordon since the '80s (I'd imagine working on low-budget genre movies with little more than cult success can get one down), but there's no energy on screen. Much like House, give this movie to Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson, or Guillermo del Toro and it can come alive. I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't terrible, but disappointed it wasn't better.
I'm pretty sure at 4:40 he's channeling Stephen King.
Wordplay -- Patrick Creadon
This is probably the best of the "documentaries about games/hobbies" movies I've seen. I'm in awe of how fast these people can do incredibly hard puzzles and can't even attempt the Monday NY Times Crossword without thinking about how bad I'm doing compared to these people. Not only are the people competing mind-blowing, but it walks you through the making of a puzzle. I can't even imagine being that smart or clever. The only knock I have against the movie is that the 20-year old contestant reminds me of Michael Rapaport and that's never a good thing.
Charley Varrick -- Don Siegel
Walter Matthau is the man. I don't know why we don't have any actors like him or Ernest Borgnine or Warren Oates anymore. Versatile actors who aren't necessarily pretty, but can own the screen. Paul Giamatti is good, but I can't see him as a badass. Charley Varrick is a crop duster/bank robber who accidentally steals money from a bank storing mob money and the mob wants it. Joe Don Baker is amazing as the man sent to look for the money. The man has no ethics and is a thrill to watch. It's a bit of a cat-and-mouse situation, but I get a kick out of watching Varrick act so logical about everything, even when it's difficult. This is a great movie you may not have heard of but it's available on Instant View. And just like in Dirty Harry, Andrew Robinson is terrible in this movie, too.
The Swarm -- Irwin Allen
Kablooey!
House II -- Ethan Wiley
The Horror Show (House III) -- James Isaac
Boing!
Dracula A.D. 1972 -- Alan Gibson
Like most Hammer Horror films, I'm happy this exists. I love the set design and the vibe of the whole thing. I love the artwork that goes along with it. I love how much cleavage the studio brought into the world. But in the end, the movies are just OK. Not enough was done to show Dracula in 1972. Most of the time, he's still in an old castle or church in the country, so it doesn't feel like modern day. If more had been done to bring Dracula into this culture, I think the film could have been a lot better. Still, I enjoy spending my time with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing, so I can never be too hard on these films.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
It's Bad Enough They're Called the Miami Marlins now...
There have been some bad decisions made regarding MLB team logos and uniforms (though the Astros hats are pretty sweet):
There have been some benign, but pointless changes in uniforms (seriously, the first logo is brilliant and I didn't notice is was and "M" and a "B" until I was in college:
And there have been some changes that feel like the team should be playing a different sport (seriously, the new one looks like the Blue Jays are a football team now):
But I'm pretty sure I've never seen anything has hideous as this leaked but supposed Miami Marlins logo
Sure, Florida Marlins never really had a great look to begin with:
but their new logo looks like a Marlin leaping over a mountain range in some horrible Technicolor nightmare. I can't imagine what the uniform will look like (oh wait... yes I can). Doesn't MLB have any say in the matter? Don't the players who have to wear the unis? Judging by the first pictures I posted, I'm going to say no. Playing baseball in Miami just got a whole lot more depressing (provided this is the new logo. Maybe the "leak" is designed to get feedback without putting forth any effort).
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